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my little razorblade

slef healing

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i will not cry for you!



October 7th, 2006

All you have is my word,

Love, trust and lust,

I have to have you

It is a must

You are the thought

That no one heard

When I am around you

I don’t know what to say

You take my words

Left me in shock and dismay

That is not even the best part

When you hold me in your arms

You push me away from harm,

You never try to make me cry

And if I do,

You catch my tears till’ they run dry.

When you speak

I go week

Then why is it

That I cant keep you?


September 19th, 2006

Voice Post

i will not cry for you!
454K 2:20
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July 22nd, 2006

(no subject)

i will not cry for you!

To the one that I love





I said that I loved you,

You did too

But nothing was right

She came along

And took me away

What eles is there

That I can say?

We did not fight

And I will take all the blame

I already bare all this shame

In a flash you were gone

It was but a moment

I only wish it could have lasted long

I loved her and she loved me

Yet this is still so hard to see

But baby,

Will you ever for give me?





Cooper I am sorry

July 11th, 2006

long time no see

i will not cry for you!

Wow it has been for ever from the last time that I updated though this thingy…Well a lot has happened in that time.  A lot of guys think I am hot…why I have no clue but they do!  Speaking of hot people(she is going to hurt me for this) I meat I girl named Brandy.  She is opper cool!  We were talking last night on the phone, sadly that is the most I can talk to her.  She lives in Main and I live in Florida.  Any farther away and she would be closer.  But I really live her, she is oh so very SceneXcore.  Sorry for any of you who know what that means it is kinda a joke (hehehe). Well, I am going to be on my way home soon!  I cant wait for that  <3333


I went to the beach for a week and got a killer tan!  I was body surfing and my top fell of but I had no clue! So I lifted my arms in the air and yell “I did it”…bad plan.  Luck it was only like 3 old people who were like, hey it happens kinda thing.


A few days ago, I was being run after in a little golf cart by a cop (security really) and grabbed his Mega phone.  There was aq group of scene kids and I got up on a like set thing and yelled in to the mega phone(Keep in mind only about 4 or 5 feet away)

“Attention all Scene kids…Yes you in the white studded belt in the middle of saying the sex!  The Scene is over you may now all go home!  Thank you”


Then I kept running from the fat man running after me


Good times … Good times


I took a million pics. of me during the time I was up here and to day I bought a opper big ass lolly pop!

Fun fun to night!

July 6th, 2006

Voice Post

i will not cry for you!
271K 1:21
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June 25th, 2006

(no subject)

i will not cry for you!

do you think I am a slut?
hella yes!
Get away from me you whore!
no you are really nice!
you look like you go to church every day!
If i I say "no" will you suck me up?
umm not really
a little yes
Free polls from Pollhost.com

June 17th, 2006

Voice Post

i will not cry for you!
629K 3:04
(no transcription available)

June 13th, 2006

Voice Post

i will not cry for you!
612K 3:13
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June 11th, 2006

(no subject)


  Today I had to go shopping.  I hate shopping with all of my black, broken heart!  I think there will be shopping in hell.  I can see it now, I am seating in line and I walk up to the devil, 

“No drugs, and she must shop!”  *evil laugh*

I am so sick of people tiring to change me!  I am sorry but I didn’t think that anything thing was fucking wrong with being different.  My grandma thinks that I do drugs . . .what would give her that idea?  Me do drugs…no way!  Lol.  It really sucks because I had to lie to them about it.  I don’t lie, but I was really good at it!  I hate lying so much.  I am so mad at myself for lying, how could I have done that? 

  Today was the first day that I went shopping and spent over $200 on something that wasn’t black or dark grey.  It was really scary as hell!  I might have to eat meat while I am here!  My grandma was really mad that I am a vegetarian.  Whatever, don’t want to eat someone’s mother!  I am just weird like that. 

  I am starting to build up the courage to ask my friend out.  Her name is Meryl.  I really think she is cool.  Ali might get mad, so being friends is fine…for now.  JK!  Humm I am running out of things to write. 

   I am not that depressed today!  The only thing that I am sad about is that every one wants me to change.  Am I really that messed up?  I mean I have my problems but so dose every teen.  I mean the teen aged years are just an apathetic cry of revenge and rebellion! 

Whatever…I will write later to night!



June 10th, 2006

(no subject)

i will not cry for you!

Damn it!  Is every one is my life doing stupid shit?  Today my boy-friend had to get his stomach pumped!  He didn’t OD but he drank a chemical or something and he lost a heartbeat.  He best friend called me and was like

“Umm Jessi, Ali is dead . . .” D.C

“What tell me you’re kidding!  That is not fucking funny I would die for him.  Him can’t be dead!” me in a panic!

“I’m not and I am calling his Mom.” D.C

I hung up with hi and about an hour later I get a call from D.C telling me that he was having his stomach pumped and that he was ok. 

Yesterday my friend almost died ODing, and that sucks!  I cut her name on my leg.


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